John Travolta Healthy Marriage

John Travolta discussed his marriage in a recent interview with Closer Weekly. How could this not be awkward? Spare the poor woman some dignity. Travolta explained that he and Kelly Preston have a very healthy marriage, something only a gay guy would think to say.

Apparently when Travolta isn’t being sued by his masseuse for sexual harassment or making out with his pilot or stealing kisses from sheriffs in the midwest or cruising the gym for young cock, he has a very healthy relationship with his wife so please back off before David Miscavige threatens to off my children:

“We really care deeply about each other and we protect each other – and we keep [our relationship] up to date. [Some couples] don’t explore what the new needs are for each other. If you take a little bit of energy to take inventory of ‘What are you interested in lately?’ then you can keep it fresh.”

That’s a heavy use of brackets, are you guys sure he’s not talking about Eduardo, the chap who delivers the groceries? The “What are you interested in lately?” line doesn’t work when Travolta proceeds to pull out a scroll of rentboys he’s been browsing on BackPage, followed by a list of sex acts he read about on Vice. They say honesty and communication keeps a marriage going. There’s no possible way that’s true. Not when the entire thing is a sham concocted by cult leaders blackmailing you with your own audits.

Just come out of the closet dude, it’s 2017. The astute among us have been aware of the situation since Saturday Night Fever. Now the old lady down the hall is, so you’ve got to wonder who you’re still talking to. 

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