Salma Passed Go Years Ago

Salma Hayek is living, aging testament to the fact that if you fat or ugly or Russian, and you have $7 billion dollars, you get to motorboat an Aztec treasure chest.

Hayek married Francois-Henri Pinault – i.e.Some Rich French Dude – back in 2009 and hasn’t spent all his money yet. And who can blame her for cashing in? As a minor league Mexican soap star with world-class chestnuts, there were only 2 paths to freedom, and the cartels play rough.

Our friends at Mr. Skin will tell you she hasn’t earned the cinematic upper echelon of an Eva Green and Angelina Jolie, who’ve given us hours of on-screen mammary examinations. But we always hope for Hayek, even in her 50s (with the right lighting and support, of course).

Whether she’s “complaining” about her ever-growing net-worth or letting her lower-class fans know the secret of a successful marriage, we at WWTDD highly recommend adding 5 million Euros to any relationship.