Future Drug Addict And Dancing With The Stars Redemption Story Mason Ramsey Releases Single

Mason Ramsey is the viral yodeling Walmart boy turned desert slut convention performer, and now, after being in the limelight for about three weeks, he has been signed to Atlantic Records as well as released his first single, “Famous.” Something that Ramsey will be for about another three weeks. And not that I give a shit, but the single does strip away the golly gosh naiveté that endeared his original Walmart warbling to people. “Famous” is something that Hannah Montana could have queefed out in her sleep.

Since I randomly recently spent way too much time reading about the fucked up way that kids were treated during the golden age of kid molesting for the Blind Item, I guess it’s a vast improvement that the eleven-year-old Ramsey is getting ahead in this world for his singing rather than by being strung out on a float in Bryan Singer’s pool. With that said, the volatile highs and lows of stardom are too much for even adults to handle – why just look at Mariah Carey – and previous examples of child stars tell us that Ramsey will most likely be yodeling into a crack pipe within five years. Then five years later he’ll have a redemption story on Dancing with the Stars. Then five years later he’ll be dead.

Photo Credit: Atlantic Records