Drew Berrymore Using Denzel As Excuse To Overeat

Most women honestly just want all the perks of being a man without having to actually be chivalrous. They want to eat like a pig in public without having to buy men dinner or hold open a door. The latest woman to give up her position and openly disclose her penis envy is Drew Barrymore. She’s jealous of Denzel Washington’s alleged eating habits and using his fluctuating weight in-between movies as a path of footprints to follow. Unfortunately she’s missing the point that everyone is different and just because something works for one person doesn’t mean it’ll work for someone else. Denzel during the off-season is often one cheeseburger away from playing a live-action Fat Albert.

Drew Barrymore attributes her fluctuating weight between seasons of “Santa Clarita Diet” to Denzel Washington.

“When I’m doing the show, I’m a vegan and I barely eat anything, and I work out every day, and it’s so healthy,” the actress said on “The Late Late Show with James Corden.” “It gets to be euphoric, and then it’s like food poisoning, you feel like you’ll never eat again, and then before you know it, you’re pigging out with the feed bag strapped to your face.”

“I heard Denzel Washington does this and I don’t know because I just want to believe it, I don’t want to know it’s not true. But he just enjoys his life and then pulls himself back together when he’s doing movies and looks amazing. So I’m giving it the full ‘Denzel,’ even if that exists or not, and I let myself go.”

There should be no one on this planet aspiring to purposely become overweight the same way no should aspire to become vegan. Being either, more often than not, leads to unhappiness. You either end up purchasing two seats every time you’re in need of an airplane ticket or become a bitter person overtime due to excessive intake of organic tree bark as sustenance. Everyone always wants to be all in or all out when it comes to weight. Women need to stop being misled by false weight loss prophets like Gwyneth Paltrow, she doesn’t have the answers. Balance is the key and as a society we need to stop letting our 6th grade health educators down. It’s like we learned the importance of the food pyramid all for nothing.

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