Chance To Fulfill Your Freaky Fish Fantasies Just Sold Out

Just because bestiality is illegal doesn’t mean you should feel ashamed for wanting to be naughty with a fish. In fact, the The Shape of Water film probably spoke to your subconscious urges to sleep with a South American fish man. The movie could have easily been a superhero movie if the Peruvian man bitten by a radioactive piranha had more interesting superpowers than eating cats and fingers. I’ve seen some weird sexual situations but I still don’t get hot and bothered seeing a mute women bone fish stick. But evidence that women love winners and will sleep with one no matter what their species has just emerged. After the Shape of Water won Best Picture at the Oscars all 28 “Jewel of the Amazon” dildo replicas of fish man peen on Etsy sold out. That’s 28 humans too many that were secretly turned on at the sight of their pet goldfish.

I imagine a good majority of the persons who  purchased the plastic fish phallus look like your average burlesque show attendee. Or the hyper horny quiet girl who’s also into cosplay and sells sexy photosets to support her hobby. Either way a woman sexually excited by aquatic animals is a deal breaker for me.

Photo Credit: The Shape of Water (FOX), dildos from Splash News and Sally Hawkins and the cast of film from Backgrid USA.