Men Also Going Black for Golden Globes

Because pointless exercises in narcissistic child’s-play protests know no limits in Hollywood, male actors have agreed to join their sisters in bold stand against gender bias in the entertainment industry by wearing black themselves to the Golden Globe Awards this year. This as opposed to previous years, when they also wore all-black. If you bring this up aloud, you will never work in this town again.

The news was confirmed by celebrity stylist, Ilaria Urbinanti. She also used to play utility infield for the Indians if I’m not mistaken. Urbinanti has an accent and picks out clothes for a ton of actors attending the award shows. She would be the one to know what everybody is wearing:

“Because everyone keeps asking me… YES, the men WILL be standing in solidarity with women on this wearing-all-black movement to protest against gender inequality at this year’s Golden Globes. At least ALL MY GUYS will be. Safe to say this may not be the right time to choose to be the odd man out here… just sayin…”

Good call with the not veiled threat there, trouser fitter. Not that Urbinanti needed to go full hog on her Italian vendetta heritage to bring the men in line with the official kowtow for the evening. The Rock seconded Urbinanti and nobody goes against The Rock. United, this should bring an end to men wanting to fuck women really badly and women in town obliging in order to get ahead. It’s amazing what seismic shifts the properly fitted charcoal suit can induce.

A week or so ago Rose McGowan called out Meryl Streep for her lack of skin in the feminist game with her weak-ass “wear black” to the Globes rallying cry. McGowan took a big hit for her equal parts honesty and bottomless pit of self-serving righteousness. No word yet on her opinion of Armie Hammer and Tom Hiddleston choosing black suits versus the traditional chartreuse options. Suppose she sees how this fashion statement could finally erase the smell of Weinstein balls from her hippocampus. 

Ah, Hollywood. How you command your legions with unforgiving solidarity. Like a brutal dictator. Though one who hands himself awards for tolerance.

_{Photo credit: Splash News}