Mindy Kaling Baby Daddy Secret Likely In the Baster

It’s not the least bit unusual in 2017 for a woman to have a baby and her baby daddy be undisclosed. It is slightly more odd when even her close friends have no idea who provided the jizz.  

Mindy Kaling is the current toast of the entertainment industry, being the dual threat of a woman and of foreign descent. Superficial inclusion is the bitcoin of Hollywood. You can’t explain why, you simply know you need to hop the bandwagon.

Kaling gave birth to a baby girl this week. Everybody knew Kaling was pregnant since the summer when her buddy, Oprah, spilled the beans. Fucking Oprah. Being a woman of some girth, Kaling had to tell somebody who would tell everybody else she was pregnant to avoid the embarrassing confusion of whether or not people could congratulate her. Though not a soul knows the conception cohort:

“[Kaling] just started telling her friends” about her little one on the way — and was staying mum on the identity of her baby’s father. She is not telling anyone, not even close friends, who the father is.” 

Kaling is not dating anybody. Assuming she’s not trolling dive bars for drunk dude hookups, she almost certainly planned some kind of insemination, preferably with a self-identified submissive male who understand his place in a world where The Future is Women. Maybe it felt to weird to be an Indian woman adopting Asian or African babies like her husband-less peers. Hence, the baster.

Kaling isn’t hurting for cash and her daughter will certainly be propped up in financially expansive anxiety-driven older single mom rearing. She’ll almost certainl excel in the dramatic arts at her private school built loosely in the shape of a vagina. As empowering as it is to have a kid without a baby daddy, immaculate and all that, it’s worth noting the correlation in the general population between single motherhood and poverty. As in, it’s by far the highest correlative factor there is.

Rich people certainly have the right to do things up as they wish, in ways poor people can’t afford. That’s the capitalist system these very same wealthy celebrities love to detest. In general, if you don’t have a baby daddy, and your friends don’t even know whose spermatozoa entered your uterus, you’re looking at broke-ass. Something to consider for women who don’t have their own sitcoms and lunch with Matt Damon.

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