Ben Affleck Unshaven, Staggering, Hanging With Blond, Standard Stuff

You know those scenes in the comics where Batman has hit rock bottom and they depict him unkempt and messed up and tripping over shit? 

Ben Affleck announced early this year what everybody already knew — he was a drunk. Among other things you’d never let your daughter date. Maybe the ugly one. You could blame his super boring wife of ten years, but super boring wives are never really the problem. They just don’t have sex with you while you’re being an asshole. So it seems much worse.

Affleck was caught stumbling about Santa Monica with what is deemed a mystery blond. That means he’s fucking her or paying her to help him not hit the cement during the three hours a night he’s allowed out of his current residential in-patient treatment center. This isn’t his new girlfriend. Though he may be too blotto to know the difference. At some point a second woman is called in to assist with the upright walking feature of the Batman robot.

Affleck picked a good time to go deep cover rehab because it put the breast groping claims against him on the back burner. By the time he emerges, his three kids may be wearing nose rings and calling him by his first name, but at least he’ll still get to make movies where he pretends to act. Hollywood loves a comeback story. Especially when it involves a disease, like loving gin and tonics way too much.