Keegan Michael Key Upgrades His Woman

Keegan Michael Key is the perfect example of why you shouldn’t be with someone who makes you happy with a great personality. Because being an attractive ex is the only thing that makes alimony payments a little easier. Who wants to give ugly people free money? And now the funny man has to pay his ex-wife, Cynthia Blaise, 34K a month. Just having a case of Jack Nicholson in the face should have steered him away from marrying her to begin with but to each their own. Now he has moved on and got engaged to another average looking woman,  Elisa Pugliese. Key is obviously attracted to anything with a vagina that meets the standard of having two arms, two legs, and two eyes. His obsession is even apparent in his “Friends From College” show on Netflix where the woman he’s having an affair with is also extraordinarily average. Congratulations on your lukewarm love story in real life. 

Days before Keegan-Michael Key announced he and Elisa Pugliese were engaged, the “Friends From College” star finalized his divorce from Cynthia Blaise.

Key has been ordered to pay his ex-wife $34,000 per month as well as 21 percent “of his gross annual income from all sources in excess of $2,153,846,” according to court documents filed and ordered Nov. 7, 2017, which were obtained by People, but “the total spousal support payable from [Key] to [Blaise] each year shall not exceed the sum of $700,000 gross.”

The “Key and Peele” star also has to pay Blaise spousal support until she remarries or the death of one of the parties.

During their divorce battle, Blaise, who works as a dialect coach, alleged she suffered from depression, anxiety, hair loss, weight loss and PTSD as a result of the split.

Why work endless hours and make millions in the process just to marry someone who looks like they’ve been a middle-aged mom their entire life. Twice. The behind the scenes crew are behind the scenes for a reason. It’s the actors that you should be chasing after, not the dialect coaches and producers. Key is one very confused man.  

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