Lil Wayne Doesn’t Do Security Checks

Lil Wayne, who if you don’t have in your ghoul pool, you’re ghoul pool sucks, refused to pass through a standard concert security checkpoint at an arena in South Carolina over the weekend, forcing his entire show to be canceled. Lil Wayne was either standing on principle, or holding a cache of weapons and drugs. Place your bets.

It seems unlikely that Taylor Swift is given a metal detector and wanding prior to entering her shows. Though Swift has yet to be arrested on weapons charges. There’s something to be said for reputations. Bitchy white chicks don’t usually pack. They seek vengeance through more subtle means. Like forty-seven songs about how shitty boyfriends are. Plus the last guy who patted down Swift’s ass lost his job and a lawsuit.

Consider the Lil Wayne security checkpoint demands twenty percent racist, eighty percent common sense. Nobody got shot that night. That goes down as a statistical victory for the Colonial Life Arena in South Carolina. Even if it meant no show. The insurance brokers and actuarial accountants will only see the zero deaths. 

Lil Wayne has had his struggles of late what with routinely passing out unconscious from seizures induced by a combo of shitty genetics and sizzurp. You always want to root for an incredibly unattractive person to do well in a largely superficial business because it’s the glimmer of the dream that talent and determination win out in the end. Like America’s Got Talent, if they were to start letting minorities compete. 

In a post Vegas-shooting world, expect that performers and entourage are going to insist on packing. It’ll be the one area of unity between Country and Rap. Lil Wayne is 35 going on sick old man. His days are numbered. Find some venues willing to let his 9mm slide and let him go out in a blaze of glory. 

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