Gigantic Monster Post-Baby Body

Fe-fi-fo-fum to you too. While everyone is focusing on Kris and Kylie Jenner’s baby, let’s turn to new mother and sassy starlet Serena Williams’ hot new Insta post-baby snap as a brief distraction. And by hot I mean she could actually be Troy Polamalu. Except he would be more passable as a human woman. In the pic, Williams pairs a tit catcher that you could use to go deep sea fishing with a possible girdle and jean shorts, and includes the caption “Back in my jean shorts 2 weeks…” Post-baby body pics only work if we liked the pre-baby body. So this, doesn’t, work.

Williams didn’t get the attention she didn’t deserve after birthing a child earlier this month, and flaunting a physique that The Rock would deem as excessive isn’t going to help. Add in the fact that her sister Venus has the celebrity “it” factor now that she’s killed somebody, and Serena is going to have to pull some big moves if we’re going to give a crap about her. And not winning tennis tournaments. Nobody cares. I would say that Williams should just go for the sex tape sure thing, but people would just mistake it for a National Geographic feature on a water buffalo.

^{Photo Credit: Instagram}