Lil Wayne Seizes on Sizzurp

Lil Wayne suffered another seizure over the weekend leaving him unconscious in a Chicago hotel room. It’s a testament to his internal fortitude that he’s still breathing. Less a testament is his continued chugging of cough syrup laced fruit juice which triggers his epilepsy.

Celebrities have forever been blaming their drug addiction fallouts on semi-related or even unrelated medical conditions. Tiger Woods has chronic golfers back pain. That’s why he’s on Ambien, Morphine, and Weed snoozing behind his wheel at 3am on a Florida highway. Michael Jackson had insomnia. Prince had a bad cold. George Michael had fatty liver. Whitney Houston couldn’t swim. It’s never the abuse of narcotics. 

Lil Wayne either truly believes or puts out that his condition is entirely related to epilepsy while ignoring the fact that the shit in his “drank” is widely known to cause seizures. It’s unclear how many of his fans are blind enough to believe his bullshit. Or perhaps they want to be there when he locks up the final time on stage. Early death is a big bona fide for rappers. 34 is getting up there.

Lil Wanye doesn’t hide his sizzurp use. He’s ever out there with the double styrofoam cup to let you know this is how you medicate yourself to death when you’re from the South. Al Gore ought to rip that eco-threatening styrofoam right out of his hands. If Gore wasn’t backstage banging the entourage ho’s. 

No man should die drinking purple punch. It’s unbecoming of the gender. With maybe three or four seizures left on his dance card, it’s time to start a rap beef and get yourself killed proper. You’ve got four illegitimate children by four different women to think about. Take a bullet and hope you get posthumously Tupac’d. 

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