John Legend Explains Why Men Are Toxic

Cosmopolitan knows men can’t talk about women, and women can’t talk about men, due to gender identity truisms they invented one evening. So they invited John Legend to talk about how horrible men are. That way, it’s not bashing. Merely a men are macho dolts public service announcement. 

Legend is working with Axe Body Spray to apologize to women on behalf of men for “toxic masculinity”. Axe is calling it their Find Your Magic Initiative. If your magic isn’t apologizing for wanting to be a football player who bangs a lot of easy drunk chicks, like, say, Chrissy Teigen, you’re not doing it right.

Legend explained to Cosmo’s female readership how all men act:

?[Men] are afraid of talking about their fears and insecurities. They’re afraid of expressing emotion beyond anger, dominance, or power, and they’re afraid of getting in touch with their feminine side.”

Legend noted how he had started high school at twelve wherein his only way to survive was to act super masculine and macho to fit in with the guys. There’s your toxicity. Also a surprisingly similar story to how young gay men act in high school. If only Axe made a truth spray. 

It’s not exactly ironic that a man who touts his civil rights mindset would lump all men into a single stereotype for the sole purpose of belittlement. But there you go. Political correctness makes strange bedfellows. As does a seven figure endorsement deal with a body spray made almost entirely out of flammable petrol chemicals.

None of this misandry commentary rings true. In the very least, maybe go out on a limb and suggest you don’t speak for all 3.5 billion men. We already have apologizing Terry Crews to remind us how porn and sports and beer make us monsters. There’s simply no need for the same thing in a more petite package.

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