Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Busted Again for Unproven Claims

According to Gwyneth Paltrow, her Goop site and its highly questionable healthcare and lifestyle products are being persecuted because the townsfolk with pitchforks and torches simply aren’t ready for leading edge thinking. 

“When you’re at the forefront of something that’s new, people can get really reactive: ‘This is crazy! Why are you doing this?’ Then, five years later, everyone’s fine with it.”

You mean fine as in it’s proven to have worked despite the current scientific consensus stating it’s all unfounded bullshit, or people have short memories and your customers are especially non-critical thinkers so five years hence they won’t remember how they wasted $800 on an sunspot fix made from armadillo tears. 

Truth in Advertising, a consumer protection group, urged Paltrow to remove 50 instances of completely unverified or misleading medical benefit claims from products for sale on Goop. Apparently those pastel perfect colored healing bathroom crystals aren’t curing UTIs as marketed. The organization fired off a letter to Paltrow’s lifestyle products site:

“Marketing products as having the ability to treat diseases and disorders not only violates established law but is a terribly deceptive marketing ploy that is being used by Goop to exploit women for its own financial gain. Goop needs to stop its misleading profits-over-people marketing immediately.”

Paltrow received the letter, folded it into a perfect origami swan, then breathed fire on it, burning it to ashes. Nothing can be prettier than her.

Truth in Advertising is now filing complaints with multiple California district attorneys. Most of whom are probably sourcing their baby llama skincare products through Goop, so it’s unclear who’s actually going to do what kind of enforcement. Goop and Paltrow have been slapped by the government before for promoting products and travel destinations without revealing they were paid endorsements.

Meanwhile, the cash keeps rolling in, because there are more stupid people in this world with impulse health and beauty spending habits than there are laws regulating their sale. Paltrow smirks so as not to produce wrinkles at your attempts to stop her. You can’t actually beat her and she knows it.

_{Photo credit: L.A. Times (Feature) / Splash News}