Disney Buries the Old Kermit

Veteran Muppets employee Steve Whitmire was anointed Kermit the Frog after Jim Henson’s death in 1990. The Henson family handpicked Whitmore out of the freaky hand stuffed puppet cult. He’s been Kermit ever since, or until he got fired this past week for what the military would call, insubordination. 

The Muppets television content moved to Disney in 2004. The overriding rule of surviving Disney is to know your place. Followed closely in second is brown nosing and attending the right lemon parties. The Soviet Commissar system was less political than the Disney corporate hierarchy. Though equally down low.

Whitmire claims Disney execs were big on making Muppets creative decisions without any real desire to learn Muppets lore. Odd since Disney maintains 10,000 page character bibles on Disney classics, the violation of which is death by meringue.  

Disney claims Whitmire was particularly annoying in development meetings for the latest reboot of the Muppets show, insisting he alone spoke for Kermit. The classic mindless corporate execs versus self-indulged artist showdown. You know there can’t be any winners:

Whitmire […] said that an instance of a note was over a script for the new ABC series, canceled last year, in which Kermit lied to his nephew, Robin, about his breakup with Miss Piggy.

“I don’t think Kermit would lie to him. I think that as Robin came to Kermit, he would say ‘things happen, people go their separate ways, but that doesn’t mean we don’t care about you.’ Kermit is too compassionate to lie to him to spare his feelings.” 

Imagine a conflict where you want to punch both sides. For instance, Jerry Sandusky and Jared Fogle arguing over neighborhood programs for latchkey kids. Only the Disney meeting involved guys in fair trade mohair sweaters engorged on Splenda. 

The only thing worse than a meeting is a meeting where somebody insists on being heard. Sorry your dad wasn’t a good listener. This isn’t makeup hour. Some of us have food trucks to get to. Getting high and figuring out how a frog and a pig fuck to make a baby is the only tolerable option.

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