Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron Bride War

Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron are in a professional battle that you hope doesn’t spread into name calling over who has the better heeled third world adopted children. The two are fighting for the upcoming casting of Bride of Frankenstein. Say it now, one of them already looks halfway to the character.

Universal Pictures lacks a decent comic book property universe, rendering them unable to come up with cheap solutions to the creative process like Disney and Warner Bros. Somebody at the ideation meeting came up with the idea of rebooting the Universal Monsters as super fresh cool fantasy-action film universe. Put $150 million in effects and an A-list actor behind them. People love the 1930’s. That somebody won’t be fired for probably two more movies.

They broke with Tom Cruise in The Mummy which tanked badly at the Box Office. In the works are Johnny Depp as The Invisible Man, Javier Bardem as Frankenstein, and Russel Crowe as Dr. Jekyl. And the Bride of Frankenstein role to be offered apparently first to Jolie, and then to Theron if Jolie passes.

According to RadarOnline, Jolie is intentionally stalling with her decision in order to fuck Theron’s scheduling up and ability to commit to other projects. Seems very Belichickian which isn’t a word but should be.

“Angie hasn’t made a deal with Universal to do their next monster flick, but the offer’s still on the table. She could use the $20 million paycheck. She seems to enjoy sticking it to Charlize, who wanted to do this film and is convinced Angie stepped in to take it off her.”

Jolie and Theron have a long standing feud based on competing for roles through the years and also the fact both used to be considered super hot. Now they’re onto slightly fuckable female monsters. And the battling continues.

Jolie is errant if she thinks Theron is going to fold like a Brad Pitt beta male accordion. Theron’s a fighter. Imagine the rage behind knowing you let Sean Penn fuck you for an entire year. It’s palpable and it’s looking for a home. This isn’t over by a long shot. 

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