Leonardo DiCaprio Picasso Siezed

Leonardo DiCaprio was asked by the U.S. Justice Department to turn over a three million dollar Picasso painting and a nine million dollar Basquiat collage. Those high-end pieces to DiCaprio’s possession by way of the corrupt insiders who’ve been raiding the Malaysia’s multi-billion dollar public redevelopment fund. You know how crooked Prime Ministers send the best swag.

Finding money for movies not starring superheroes is super tough in Hollywood. Producers have turned to various cheats and scoundrels around the world. Also in the state of Louisiana. Various ex-ball players can make an introduction. International film money is slightly less clean than the bill roll in the pocket of a meth dealer. Including the money that was supposed to go into making Malaysia less shitty but went into funding Wolf of Wall Street and a half dozen other movies. The financiers swindling the public fund “donated” the art work to DeCaprio for auction at his environmental charity fundraisers.

DiCaprio was also forced to surrender an Oscar statuette once given to Marlon Brando, for fucking hot young women while being super fat. DiCaprio is thirty pounds shy of winning one for himself. According to reps for DiCaprio, the forty-something actor was only happy to help do his part to do what’s right by the ripped off citizens of Malaysia:

“Prior to the government’s filing of the civil pleading today, Mr. DiCaprio initiated return of these items, which were received and accepted by him for the purpose of being included in an annual charity auction to benefit his eponymous foundation. Mr. DiCaprio is grateful for the support of the government in this effort, and continues to hope that justice is done in this matter.”

Obviously. What’s with guys you barely now giving you tens of millions of dollars worth of art for no reason and turning out to be shady? Not DiCaprio’s fault. No way to see that coming.

DiCaprio’s St. Tropez charity auction may be a little less sexy this year, but never underestimate the generosity of bauxite miners and slave labor moguls when the environment needs a helping hand. There’s no such thing as dirty money when it comes to building carpool lanes.

_{Photo credit: Getty Images}