Scarlett Johansson Drowning in Rich White Girl Problems

The prep for all female celebrities being interviewed for intellectually rich outlets such as Cosmopolitan involves sitting down with your team and assessing hot button issues for women in the news. Pick two or three, rehearse a response, and hope the interviewer asks you about them. Hint, they will. The magazine already agreed to your prepared questions. If it’s good enough for CNN, it’s good enough for Cosmo.

Scarlett Johansson checked out the Chinese menu of coastal rich white lady issues and opted for slut shaming. Johansson lambasted how women are called loose and trashy if they dare to speak about their sexuality or enjoyment of sex. She’s probably onto something, though without mentioning the upside sexually expressive women enjoy in terms of say, every economic benefit under the sun. A girl who is open about her love of fucking never pays for meals.

“When women talk about enjoying sex, it’s almost forbidden. Just having a healthy sexual attitude, you are labeled as loose, wild, a slut. You have no morals, and you’re seen as some kind of sexual deviant or someone who can’t be in a monogamous relationship. The minute you talk about enjoying yourself, being curious, that is still taboo.”

This is an actual problem you have to believe Johansson read about in a foreign land like Missouri. This is certainly not the case in the posh life of New York and Los Angeles where she’s been twice divorced. Let’s be honest, if healthy sexual attitude means fucking Sean Penn on the rebound, there’s going to be some name calling. Penn peen isn’t free.

Johansson spun the slut shaming thing into reproductive rights, then some nonsensical thing about allowing her daughter to have the same privileges as Ivanka Trump. Because her daughter lacks privileges. Still, you have to toss out the buzzwords to make the duck fall and win your hundred dollars.

The desire for women with the world as their oyster to relate to women with real problems is on the level of political campaign farce. We know you don’t flip your own pancakes or ever wear a hard hat to work. Accept that you’re the rich chick with perfect tits who plays an Avenger in any movie she wants not to lose lots of money. We’d all trade up to take your life. Consider how not so bad it is.

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}