Jennifer Lawrence Reasonably Poor Drunken Stripper

Radar Online was the highest bidder for a cellphone camera video of Jennifer Lawrence wasted on stage at a strip club in Austria during a break from filming. She was in danger only so much as her sober Mossad-trained body guard was three feet away and capable of killing every single living soul in the club in under seven seconds. Also, her drunk girlfriends could’ve screamed really shrilly.

Lawrence did a little rolling around on stage, ass slapping, grinding on a gay Austrian dancer, and taking off her dress top to reveal even more designer wear underneath. Not so much stripping as the dancing drunk girl at the party who loses your interest when it’s clear after ten minutes you’re simply not going to see her tits. On the off chance you broke your oath never to look at hacked photos, you’ve already seen Lawrence’s tits and then some.

In response Radar Online publishing the video, Lawrence firmly stated there would be no apology forthcoming, or even a reason why an apology might be warranted in the first place:

“Look, nobody wants to be reminded that they tried to dance on a stripper pole by the internet. It was one of my best friend’s birthdays and I dropped my paranoia guard for one second to have fun. I’m not going to apologize, I had a BLAST that night.”

You didn’t need to capitalize BLAST. We can see your fun somewhat through the Radar Online watermark. Way to own your Saturday night. Ignore the critics. There were none which makes the process simpler. We’ll let you be drunk and stupid this one time. At least you didn’t mention how stressed you are from film work and hotel stays at the Ritz in Vienna. Points for that. Minus for stripping like a PTA mom.

_{Photo Credit: Radar Online / Vanity Fair}