Dani Mathers Must Face A Jury of Her Peers

Being a Playboy model and bon vivant about town offers you well-to-do boyfriends and gigs you’re not possibly qualified for. Our social compact insists good looking women with large tits be rewarded. There are numerous reasons why this is a good thing, largely for men, and good looking women with large tits.

Dani Mathers is still being hounded by criminal charges of invasion of privacy from that photo she snapped of an older heavyset woman from her sauna perch at L.A. Fitness. Presumably she was only formally charged because she’s famous enough that the story of her mean Snapchat went mega viral. Also, the L.A. city attorney has solved the city’s massive gang, homeless, and civic corruption quagmires and is bored most days in his office. 

Mathers tried the super mea culpa and counseling for Mean Girls offer to have the charges dropped. As if. That only works in 99.9% of celebrity criminal cases. The judge found that Mathers wasn’t truly remorseful, as evidenced by all of her ‘tee-hee-hee ugly people’ followup posts.

In a last ditch effort this week, Mathers’ attorney argued that California’s privacy law regarding locker rooms was way too vague. The attorney noted how it took the cops several weeks to even identify the naked woman in the background, therefore she was “incidental” to the photo and not the subject of a naked locker room snap. Which might’ve been more believable had Mathers not specifically noted the woman in the photo for her mocking caption.

Mathers’ trial is moving forward at the end of this month. She’ll be found guilty and flogged. Topless if taxpayers actually have a say in anything. They don’t. Also, the naked lady in the photo is suing. Wait until she finds out what ex-Playboy models bank accounts independent of their benefactors look like. 

Photo Credit: @missdanimathers / Instagram