Ashley Graham Writes a Book

Ashley Graham answered the wishes of one super weird redhead with coke bottle glasses who lives in his mom’s basement and wrote a book. Or perhaps the same guy wrote it and stamped her name on it. Chapter 1, guilt free pizza. Chapter 2, body positive fried chicken. You get the general format.

The title of the book is A New Model: What Confidence, Beauty and Power Really Look Like. You have to be overweight to be beautiful and confident? Is that settled science. Just say it is, nobody checks.

Since Graham is incredibly uninteresting outside of being the world’s only successful fat model she spun a few yarns about how her family was racist towards her black husband. They sound like a bunch of dumb assholes, maybe it runs in the family:

“I brought Justin home to Nebraska. Now, I should probably mention that Justin is black, and that I didn’t grow up around many black people. The sum total of what I learned about African American culture in school was Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, and the Underground Railroad. This was more than my mom knew; she didn’t even see a black person in real life until she was 18 years old.” 

You mean they don’t teach Lil’ Wayne in high school these days? They love big fat asses, most of us city dwellers learned that early on. So your mom is a Hills Have Eyes person. Maybe this is a nurture versus nature situation, was your mother also a sheltered narcissist? 

Ashley Graham might be the most annoying current D list celebrity. She’s thick, that’s fine. But she can’t leave it at that. She has to pretend that being large qualifies her for some sort of prize. It’s unclear who actually gives a shit besides magazine and website editors. I’ve never seen a famous female celebrity’s first nudes receive such minimal fanfare. Can’t wait for the book sequel when your mom realizes corn syrup leads to diabetes. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}