Farrah Abraham Freshly Single

Farrah Abraham is that last icicle of the Spring melt. She’s going to drip into non-existence before she ever lets go of that eave. The science of whoredom is fairly fascinating.

Abraham announced that she’s single again. Though she and her former boyfriend are going to remain good friends. Her boyfriend had a slightly different reaction.

“If she can find someone that can be in the same room as her, that’s a huge accomplishment.”

Go out swinging, son. That’s less meaningful if you’ve not been fucking a porn star for two years and calling her super amazing. Of course you were lying then. Are you lying now? No. But too late.

Abraham has managed to fashion a career out of being knocked up in high school, having her baby daddy die in a car accident, and partaking in enough sex swing anal on camera to make you lie in her presence that she could’ve been a model. Don’t for a second think this Crying Game is one-sided.

Abraham has turned her mini-financial sweepstakes into a growing empire of yogurt franchises and other real estate investments that indicate she’s far smarter than you imagine. Also, far more annoying. Not many sex workers will be sitting on five million in the bank when they age out at 28. If you can jigger that outcome without any of the life-threatening STDs, you’re the winner. 

There’s no shame in dating a porn star. Only in telling people how special she is.

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}