Navy Seal Busted for Making Porn With His Porn Star Wife

It’s hard to think of something stupider than marrying a porn star. The odds of bad shit in your future just rose by ninety-nine percent. The upside is your wife is fucking tons of other men. 

Decorated Navy SEAL and long serving Chief Special Warfare Officer Joseph Schmidt was busted by his superiors for appearing in numerous adult digital videos with his porn star wife. She claims she needed him to stand in to cut costs. She’s a porn star. It’s like having Gollum give you directions.

Depending on who you ask, either tons of Schmidt’s naval officer peers knew of his moonlighting job or nobody did and this came as a total shock to the brass now likely tasked with booting him from service. If you know anything about military service, understand it’s certainly the former. Everybody knows everything. It’s hard to erase the image of your coworkers fucking their giant titted porn star wives online. Of course you’re watching.

Schmidt’s wife works under the name Jewels Jade, which isn’t even very good for a fake porn star name and might help explain why she’s never broken out as a larger success. Jade claims she gave up the dirty work fifteen years ago to be a wife and mother, but the bills piled up and she got back into the business. It’s as good a fake rationale as any. Subsequently, Jade and Schmidt started a real estate business that went under, and again, she returned to porn. This time featuring her husband, who happens to be a high profile veteran SEAL and cover boy for many of their marketing and promotional endeavors.

Military senior officials know all sorts of shit goes on in the service, they simply hate when it becomes public. Now they have to make an example out of Schmidt who they claim never asked for permission to be a porn star when off-duty. Go figure. Jade claims that if her husband is kicked out of the Navy, that will only put more financial pressure on her to do even more porn. That seems to be a consistent theme in her public communications. It’s a full moon, I must do porn. Wednesday again? Porn. We get it. You’re the victim here. All your loud cumming can be confusing.

Schmidt will take a blow in the name of his bad porn stache. His prestigious years of service will be marred by some kind of ugly exit. Bureaucracy, false morality, and Puritanical values will be cited. The wise people understand this is all rooted in the decision to marry a porn star. Some boxes should never be opened.

_{Photo Credit: stripes.com /@jewelsjade71 / Instagram / @xxxjewelsjade / Twitter}