Ask Tyler: Sex Free Marriage Ain’t Free

Ask Tyler: My wife and I don’t have sex. I want a divorce. I have kids and I don’t want to mess up my family. How fucked am I just because I’m a good dad?

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There’s a name for married guys who have fulfilling sex lives. Cheaters. Occasionally you’ll marry a woman messed in the head and the sex will be great until she’s splat on the pavement with a sad note blaming you for shit that happened to her fifteen years before you met. You’re fucked. Take heart. You’re not alone. MEN…PLEASE READ THIS! IF YOU GET MARRIED SOMEDAY THE SEX AND BLOW JOBS WILL BE PRACTICALLY NON-EXISTENT. It comes with the territory. If you want hot sex, don’t get married. Someday maybe you won’t want it as badly or as much and you can get married then. If you are unhappy all the time, get the fuck out. Be a great dad to your kids without that sad frustrated man face. You only live once. Life doesn’t have to suck. It can be awesome. Her off-limits vagina may be a blessing in disguise. For the both of you. Maybe you’re no longer her type. Maybe she wants to fuck the swarthy plumber but she feels too guilty since she’s married. Stop being selfish. You can both cum again without feeling guilty. Doing hard things will always suck in the beginning. But once you get past that stage you will be so glad you did it. This is 2017. You don’t have to get married or live full-time with a chick. Even parents have stopped bugging the shit out of their kids about this. Get your dick wet and it’ll all come back to you. Like when they free those animals from captivity. The first kill brings it all back. Dare to be happy. THE END.