Prince William Lets Loose

It’s a lonely being future king. And recessively bald at twenty-two thanks to regal breeding protocols. Who will cry for the princes of the world locked in their gilded cages?

Prince William had one good parent and his grandmother had her killed. He’s got a shit ton of money he can’t spend, models who would gladly fuck him he’s not allowed to touch. He’s forced to play polo. He seems like a normal dude. He has to secretly know that’s astonishingly foppish. Williams seemed to love flying helicopter air rescues. They took that away too.

William ditched his British royal visit to the continent for one evening to reunite with his prep school buddies at a nightclub in Switizerland. He proceeded to get blinkered and dance like a fool. Naturally, people took pictures because the man can’t escape his life for even one night. Some expressed outrage at his wild rumpus evening. He probably had two shots and an ale. He hugged the DJ. Classic sign of a guy who needs to get out way more.

Being locked into a family business not of your own choosing invariably sucks. Who wants etiquette camp at three? You don’t even own any colonies or black slave trade routes anymore. If you’re forced to pity a billionaire, this might be the one to choose. Don a wig and do that Prince and Pauper mixup. You’d be so much happier selling men’s suits at Macy’s.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlyNet}