Who Let the Hooker Into the Kid’s Choice Awards?

Everybody in Hollywood is a whore. Right down to the nine year olds working casting calls ferociously to be the next Miley Cyrus. Spend twenty minutes at a Coffee Bean near any one of these casting offices in Burbank and witnessed the behavior of these kids and their parents. It’s like watching child sex trafficking rings play out. Only everybody is excitedly volunteering.

Still, there’s a difference between selling yourself and actually selling yourself. The latter constituting a handing over of cash. We can all laugh to watch the funny hookers plying their trades on basic cable. Do you really want them at your kid parties?

The Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards is supposed to be all about the children. Also, corporate branding, greasy payola deals, and underaged girls showing off their bodies. The classy stuff. Blac Chyna has to be accidentally left off the evite. Everybody’s got a bastard rapper baby these days. That gets you into Chuck E. Cheese, maybe a UN Ambassadorship for Children, not the Kids Choice Awards. 

Rob Kardashian isn’t even dead yet. Widow Blac Chyna will be given more deference. For now, somebody give word to the doorman. This place used to be classy.

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}