Carlos Santana Questions Beyonce’s Musical Talent

The best part about getting old is saying whatever the fuck you want. Young rebels claim this stance, but they invariably come off looking like angry assholes. It’s old coots who frankly don’t give a shit anymore who lay claim to divine oracle status.

Carlos Santana is turning seventy this year. His past, present, and future work are all locked in. He’s in the position to say things that nobody else in his profession will. Like Beyonce wasn’t robbed at the Grammy’s because she’s black. Beyonce’s sister Solange with the hair problems has been on a kick about it since the awards show. She’s not alone. It’s this week’s social media virtue signaling to call Adele the biased white pick for Best Album. Which is better than last week when Adele was mostly called that fat British chick who did that Bond thing.

With all respect to our sister Beyonce, Beyonce is very beautiful to look at it’s just more like modeling kind of music– music to model a dress. She’s not a singer, with all respect to her.

Santana later clarified his comments with a bunch of backtracking about meaning no disrespect. Which he didn’t. He was merely pointing out the fact that musical artists used to be musicians. There were always one hit wonder pop bands who smiled and fronted produced sounds, but rarely has there been such a tenured run of broadly adulated “musical genius” like a Beyonce who really is first and foremost, a pretty dancer. 

Not that Adele is handcrafting her albums, but she’s certainly not getting by because men imagine what she might be like to bend over a couch. Though some men are still definitely doing that. Men are gross. Beyonce doesn’t write or produce her own music. She doesn’t have any affinity for instrumentation, composition or any hint of musical skill. It’s unclear if she can read music. She’s not a plainly shitty singer, like a Jennifer Lopez, but she’s still the Johnny Bravo of the pop music world. She’s there largely because the suit fit her. Also, her dad was ruthless in the industry.

If I were as old as Carlos Santana, I’d say this shit out loud. Come and get me, you self-righteous motherfuckers. Pakistani Zayn was robbed!