Harrison Ford Playing With Fire

Harrison Ford seems like a pretty fucked up dude. This assertion is based exclusively on the earring. He is somehow constantly sustaining minor injuries like he’s a bush league hockey player. If you’re doing the math, he’s always drunk. When is the last time a sober non-athlete twisted their ankle?

Ford has a surplus of testosterone which he probably self injects daily. When this happens, dudes start behaving really weird. Suddenly, flying your own airplane seems like a great idea. You can rest a beer right on the dash. Ford almost crashed his puddle jumper into a loaded Boeing at the Orange County airport yesterday. This is approximately the tenth major aviation disaster he has narrowly avoided in as many years. Two years ago he crash landed on a golf course, and probably got laid afterwards. Chicks pretend they’re not into this kind of shit, but none of them are masturbating to John Oliver. 

After narrowly avoiding killing the over one hundred people on board of the commercial plane he almost engulfed in flames due to his complete incompetence, Ford walked away unscathed, probably directly to the Champs sports bar across the street. The subject of revoking his pilot’s license has not been broached. Nor the fact that his Spotify playlist exclusively includes Buddy Holly, Aaliyah, John Denver and, for unknown reasons, a Russian hockey team. The writing is on the wall. This is a problem. Calmly wait for the tragedy. 

_{Photo Credit: Twitter}