Rich Homie Quan Punches People

Rapper Rich Homie Quan appears to be about 5’6″ 130 pounds and just paid $60,000 for knocking out a bouncer at a nightclub. Either Rich Homie Quan is a fighting prodigy along the lines of Bruce Lee, or this bouncer was a huge fucking pussy. Granted, being a muscle bound roided up ogre doesn’t especially translate well into fighting. This is one of the few areas in which society has progressed, we now understand a little guy who knows what he’s doing can put up a good effort. I’d still take Gronkowski over Floyd Mayweather.

Simply being amped up to throw a blow is 90 percent of civilian fighting. It’s not worth it for many reasons. You could win, accidentally kill the guy, and go to prison. You could win, and then be stabbed or shot by one of the guy’s friends. You could win, but still lose a bunch of teeth and be fired from the Cheesecake Factory. Or you could win and have to pay the guy $60,000. You could also lose and be all fucked up for several weeks. There’s very little upside to fighting without Herb Dean in latex gloves monitoring the action.

After the attack, Rich Homie Quan and his posse reportedly fled the Miami nightclub on a speedboat. Perhaps some iteration of cocaine was involved? What’s troubling about this is not that some shitty rapper is out there punching bouncers. What’s troubling is that even bouncers now are total pussies. You have one job.

Everyone knows a bouncer plans his month around the chance to take a shot at some guy, and given the opportunity they’ll gladly take you out into the alley. This profession has lost their privileges to sue over unnecessary violence. Has our country lost its way to the point that these behemoths are now being knocked out by lithe little pixies? Even worse, not having any shame about it and actually drawing attention to themselves by suing? Hopefully that $60,000 was worth your self respect. Smart money says yes, now get back to work and start collecting fake phone numbers from diseased whores. 

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