Britney Spears Violates the First Rule of Instagram

Never deny you Photoshopped shit. People don’t quite understand the term. Everybody touches up photos before publication. Even middle school girls do this with just what’s available to tool around with on their smartphones. Social media editing tools offer tons more. Not a single photo any magazine or reputable online outlet posts isn’t at least cropped and filtered or brightened and enhanced. Selfies from famous people aren’t selfies, they’re valuable marketing campaigns. Ford doesn’t just camera phone some videos of its latest model and upload a commercial. Britney Spears is Ford. We bailed her out. She’s doing better. Now she has an inhuman arch in her backside. Do you want to fuck her in the backseat of your new Taurus or not? You thought you knew the real Britney. She doesn’t know your name. Don’t lash out at her new sixteen inch waist.

Photo credit: Britney Spears/Instagram.