Irina Shayk Tits Are Serious

Irina Shayk, posted a photo of herself in a bikini next to a donkey on Instagram. Or was it a mule? Pony? Who cares. Ninety-four percent of heterosexual males didn’t notice the equine.

The mildly amusing donkey pic was an excuse for Shayk to flaunt her perfect body. She doesn’t need an excuse. And she certainly doesn’t need to joke. Shayk isn’t funny. Models aren’t funny. Women are barely funny, and only if they’re unattractive enough to make it believable.

Christopher Hitchens got a lot of shit for making the point that women aren’t funny because they don’t need to be. It’s evolution. Funny men punch way above their weight in the dating world. The reverse isn’t true. Guys don’t give a shit if a girl makes them laugh. If making women laugh didn’t facilitate fucking them, guys wouldn’t be funny either. And women still wouldn’t be funny. Doubly so with models. Every guy has laughed at everything she’s done since she got tits. The mediocre girls didn’t want to upset her because they absorbed the residual popularity of existing in her circle. And no one gave a shit when the frizzy-haired chick with hairy legs called the model out for having no personality. Life isn’t a John Hughes movie. That’s why Tyra Banks sticks her finger in her nose and thinks she’s Lenny Bruce. Did you ever hear the one about the horse that fucked a supermodel? You didn’t hear it from the supermodel.

Photo credit: Irina Shayk / Instagram