Jessica Alba Dirty Honest

Jessica Alba’s Honest Company which sells environmentally and body sound products according to their pamphlets took another hit on that honest bit when the Wall Street Journal asserted that the company used the ingredient SLS in their laundry detergents. SLS is a complicated chemical compound used in numerous brand name laundry detergents and also the key ingredient in that vat that turned Jack Napier into the Joker in Tim Burton’s crappy Batman. The Honest Company claims it’s an honest mistake and referred everybody to Ecos.com which provides Honest’s detergent. They maintains a Countdown Clock to Earth Day so you know they’d never lie. If Hitler were alive today he’d be buying carbon offsets. Mostly burnt Jews. Fuck you, it’s Friday.

The Honest Company has recently had class action lawsuits filed against it for claims of all natural products that maybe weren’t so natural, sunscreen that was all-natural to the point that it didn’t actually work for shit, and a tortured explanation on the company’s website as to why their wholesome products are almost entirely sourced in the Chinese factories you don’t see in the Politburo approved tourism videos. Jessica Alba continues to vociferously defend her company because she’s ever so close to a post-IPO valuation cash out of significant proportion. Also, her acting isn’t what you would call a decent fallback. Westside mommies are more inclined to believe Jessica Alba than the Wall Street Journal just as they believed Jenny McCarthy over the entirety of the medical profession when deciding to give their children’s classmates diphtheria for Valentine’s.  She looks great. That’s the entire battle.

Photo credit: Jessica Alba/Instagram