The Rocco Plan Seems To Be Going Well

A New York judge ordered Madonna and Guy Ritchie to work their shit out with their son privately for the best interest of Rocco. Neither parent was present in-person to discuss how much they loved and cared for their son. Ritchie called-in from England where they have no airplanes and Madonna dialed in on a free conference line from New Zealand where she’s on tour. Ding. Madonna has now entered the conference.

Judge Deborah Kaplan denied Madonna’s request to have Rocco returned to the U.S. because when he got there nobody would be home. She also noted that he’s attending school in London at least one day a week which is one day more per week than while residing in Madonna’s traveling caravan of Botox and sodomy. She ordered both parents to come back on June 1 with a mutually agreed upon plan to raise Rocco until he’s 18 and can leave home and never speak to either save to ask again for the ATM password to the trust fund account. The odds of an amicable deal between Madonna and Ritchie hovers around no way in hell. The Judge will eventually scold them internationally via Facetime and render some rulings as to Rocco’s fate. This is the new American family. Though nobody seems to be in America.

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