Adele Blows It With Weight Loss

Everybody’s losing their shit over Adele dropping ten pounds. It’s like the entire world has become Oprah’s assistants. They’re calling her ‘slimline’ which I’m pretty sure is a lamp. People love to compliment a woman who’s lost weight. And in obviously out loud ways. Unlike war heroes who they tend to say nice things about in hushed tones. There’s sacrifice and then there’s sacrifice.

Adele made a huge mistake in losing weight. When she was fat we could all pretend that if she ever lost weight she’d be pretty. It’s a conceit you can hold like an un-cashed marker. Now she looks exactly like what every other chubby British woman: Kate Winslet.

Photo credit: @adele / Instagram