Eva Longoria Going Gay

Eva Longoria and a bunch of other righteous souls are taking part in a French artist’s photo exhibit featuring straight people pretending to be gay and in love because maybe with a French accent it has some discernible benefit:

The celebrities that I shot are heterosexual, but it was essential to me that you would believe these imaginary couples and families they portray were real. If you couldn’t identify with their love and feel it was real, then I would have failed. And to show that love is love, no matter who [is involved].

Yeah, still not getting it. What if explained by a mime?

There’s an ever moving target as to what it takes to be a non-gay person supporting gay acceptance. You used to be able to mention a gay cousin at Sarah Lawrence or how you worked as a busboy at a WeHo restaurant and it wasn’t horrible. Now you have to pretend to be gay yourself. Call yourself queer, refuse to accept the label of heterosexuality, sound guilty about being in the 95%, maybe take some photos of yourself in the shower soaping another dude.

That Rachel Dolezal chick pretended to be black and rose to the top of the ranks of the NAACP. Is that where this is headed? When did tolerance lead to me live Tweeting my dick in some guy’s ass and do I get to pick the guy? The Rock. Wait, I just blurted that out. I want somebody who’s been there before. Will Smith. Black and gay. Where’s my Oscar, Image Award, and my GLAAD wings. I’m coming, Jesus. Sooner than you think.

Photo Credit: Olivier Ciappa