Ireland Baldwin Hits Step Twelve

It was just six months ago Ireland Baldwin was sent off to rehab to be cured of her drinking and interracial lesbianism, one of which is verboten in the Baldwin household. The person you never speak to at rehab is a geneticist who could trace the Baldwin DNA in your veins back to the earliest fucked up troglodytes ranting about faggots in their cave. You might as well cure a Frenchman of his pretentious gazes or ask Lena Dunham to stop resembling Cookie Puss. Maybe you get Ireland to stop going down on black chick rappers with some Red Asphalt videos about the ravages of oral chlamydia, but you’re not taking a bottle away from a Baldwin. Next time, wear underwear even if you only think there might be an open bar. Let’s check back in at thirty.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews