Maggie Gyllenhaal Is a Hooker, Again

There are only two certainties in life. Maggie Gyllenhaal will accept the role of hardened street walker and she’ll pen an open essay about the lack of positive roles for women over 30 in Hollywood. Also, you’ll see her prematurely saggy tits again. Yes, that will be explained in the essay. David Simon’s The Deuce for HBO will explore the gritty side of the 1970’s Time Square porn and drug trade. As opposed to the non-gritty side which were the occasional billboards for Pan Am to fly to Amsterdam for more porn and drugs. Simon’s last thrilling urban epic, Whites Hates Blacks at City Council Meetings in 1980’s Yonkers was a real page turner. This show will co-star James Franco as the sweaty troubled bisexual drug addicted porn king. I haven’t read the script, but that’s a solid guess. HBO keeps trying to find shit to do in between Game of Thrones and Game of Thrones. They just paid Jon Stewart several million to ‘make us some videos or something, please.’ There are now 500 channels instead of 20 but same number of good shows. There’s no shame in test patterns. Weed is much stronger these days.

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