Jared Fogle Makes Good

The world’s both best and worst sandwich spokesperson ever, Jared Fogle, paid each of fourteen victims of his child porn and sex crime offenses $100,000. The money is supposed go toward counseling and medical expenses but can be used for anything, up to and including eleven inch subs billed as footlongs. The cash payments prior to sentencing are completely voluntary on Fogle’s part. He’s just that holiday spirit.

Child sex crimes advocates, and I probably worded that improperly, are concerned that simply because Jared is rolling in Subway money and can afford to make sizable restitution he will receive a lighter punishment from the court in his upcoming sentencing. Which brings up the point that people with money can get away with a lot more than people of lesser means. Which you already knew, but then you’re not a child sex crimes advocate. Dammit that sounds like you’re promoting sex crimes against children. Expect Jared to be out of the hoosegow well before you figure out what gives the Subway meatball its velvety testicle like texture.

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