Farrah Abraham DNA Not Flying Off the Shelf

According to Celebrity Gene, makers of fine liquid human DNA filled necklaces since whenever, the Farrah Abraham model wasn’t exactly moving. After four months on the market, not a single one had sold. Buying a pendant filled with a stranger’s genetic material seems like an odd purchase. Maybe Charles Manson freaks or Taylor Swift’s easily manipulated teens would find it provides some kind of comfort when totally alone in the universe, but porn star DNA is inherently icky. It’s like framing your bukkake.

Celebrity Gene claims that Farrah Abraham barely marketed the genetic necklace. In contrast, she spent tons of time pushing her adult sexy toys which just made people even more inclined not to buy her spooge jewelry. Abraham is crass and a liar, but she’s not stupid. She makes a healthy percentage off her molded assholes and vaginas. The creepy necklace proceeds go to charity. Celebrity Gene fired Abraham. Though legally they have the right to clone a dozen of her, have their way with them, then push them off a cliff. Best Christmas office party ever.

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