Heidi Klum Looks Healthy

42 year old bobble head Heidi Klum posed for her new line of intimates, perfect to slip on after a romantic evening of rice cakes and laxatives. Klum looks pretty good for her age if she were serving time for possession. You can boil life down to not getting fat and regular trips to the spa. That is if you host a TV show which pays you a million dollars a word to sit there and nod. Beyond that if you’re willing to survive on a diet of boiled water condensation you should be good to go. Stop licking the stove you’ve reached your limit. Do you need a spotter for those heels? Why did you buy this perverted novelty costume for the cat? These don’t fit have you been watching Skeletor’s reality show again? I thought intimate meant we take our clothes off. Why are you wasting money? Get this chick a neck brace. I definitely still would.

Photo Credit: HeidiKlumIntimates.com