Charlotte McKinney Has 5 Responses About Her 2 Big Guns

In between advertorials on the hottest summer vests for men, GQ squeezed in a video interstitial asking Charlotte McKinney what she replies to guys who ask her if her giants tits are real. Not a day goes by I don’t ask some random woman that question in person. Usually after I’ve pushed my hand up their skirt without permission and then creepily asked if they like sherbet. Charlotte muddled through five scripted perfect comebacks:

Wow, that is such a good question
A unicorn gave them to me
I was shopping on SkyMall
Justin Bieber thinks they’re real
They’re ‘real’ off limits, that’s what they are.

Not GQ’s finest hour. Back in the day it was enough just to get a chick with huge tubes jiggling for the camera and pretending she wasn’t dying on the inside. We’ve becoming spoiled. We insist our professional porn have an amateur narrative. Now we want our titty models to pull off zinging one-liners. We became a land of generalists the minute some tool got good political traction with the inane rallying cry that every kid should go to college. Peddling false hope is the devil’s work. The blond girls with the huge tubes were born to be mutely objectified. You don’t have to believe in destiny. It’s coming for you either way.

Photo Credit: GQ