50 Cent Cashed Out

Rapper 50 Cent filed for bankruptcy protection in Connecticut  to shelter his Panzer division of Bentleys against the kind of civil judgements only a rapper could amass. The first found 50 Cent slapped with a an order to pay Rick Ross’ elegant baby mama five million U.S. dollars for putting her sex tape online to embarrass Rick Ross. That was a hoot. So red in the face. Now where’s my five million, dumb shit. The second judgement stems from 50 Cent agreeing to promote Sleek Audio headsets, then figuring why not produce his own headsets that look exactly like Sleek Audio and sell them under his own name. If you made it to second grade in the New York City public schools, you have to know that’s not going to fly. 50 Cent has routinely been praised by the mainstream media who love to relate to hip hop culture by finding black dudes who’ve made a shit ton of money and calling them geniuses. It’s probably condescending, but it’s all they’ve got. The New York Times did a blowjob piece on the business acumen that is 50 Cent just last week. Precious.

50 Cent didn’t survive forty three direct kill shots as a teen just to see some people he fucked over badly take all his dough. You can bet there are stacks of rainy day cash buried in floorboards in various tenement houses. He will rise again. Suge Knight only recently met his shenanigans match. 50 has another decade of magazine Syracuse journalism majors romanticizing his bullshit. And payback murders. That’s what the 40’s are all about.