Miley Cyrus Is Once Gay Too Also

Miley Cyrus has declared in her latest insipid interview for Paper Magazine that she’s always been openly bisexual. By open she means that nobody among the millions of people who follow her publicly have ever seen or heard evidence of such. But believe it’s true. She’s had many love affairs with women you can’t find on Google and even came out to her mom at fourteen:

[Miley] recalls confessing to her mother, at age 14, that she had romantic feelings toward women. “I remember telling her I admire women in a different way. And she asked me what that meant. And I said, I love them. I love them like I love boys,” she says. “And it was so hard for her to understand. She didn’t want me to be judged and she didn’t want me to go to hell. But she believes in me more than she believes in any god. I just asked for her to accept me. And she has.

Fuck, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. If you were penning the seventy five new after school specials in the works about coming out to your parents, you couldn’t do a better story than that. I wonder if mom recalls it after being told to confirm it if anybody asks. Cyrus also threw in the fact that she considers her gender to be ‘fluid’ and doesn’t like constricting labels because they only serve to hurt. You have to miss the days when chicks in Hollywood just rooted for the commies. Times were simpler. Chomping on a dick was still optional. For men at least.

Photo credit: Paper Magazine