Hilaria Baldwin Still Pregnant

Hilaria Baldwin will finally give birth in July and spare us the endless selfies of her third trimester. No word on whether she will be broadcasting the delivery live via NASA’s feed or if we’ll be treated to any photos of her stitched up perineum. Women will be the first to tell you how amazing this is. I once busted a nut that travelled twelve yards but you don’t hear me bragging about it. If this is so amazing then why is the population skyrocketing? Clearly a lot of people know how to do this. Even in the farthest reaches of Sub Saharan Africa where many are forced to walk up to seven miles to upload touching personal photos visible to the entire world. Squeeze it out already. I can’t wait to hear how you’re getting back in shape. More smoothie photos please. Fuck the Internet and pregnant yoga instructors pretending to be Spanish.

Photo Credit: Instagram