Khloe Kardashian Retarded, Culturally

Khloe Kardashian went to Dubai to negotiate the price of her future children’s virginity and donned a hijab, the traditional Muslim attire which is great at absorbing the force of thrown rocks. The photo stirred debate on Instagram, with some feeling Khloe was exploiting the traditional clothing, which is not meant to be a fashion accessory and is in fact a utilitarian product designed to double as a body bag in cases of false rape accusations. I don’t understand the problem here. If any of Dubai’s hyper orthodox prostitution ring community recognizes Khloe from the Western televisions they keep in their Spice Girl themed casinos she’s liable to be stoned to death in the street with private jet sized bottles of Patron and impostor Polo cologne. Next time reserve judgement. Eyes Wide Shut was a great film and now it’s been bastardized along with that sleeping bag on wheels the terrorists are fond of. A few lashes with an extension cord should do the trick. Then we’ll talk about the punishment.

Photo Credit: Instagram