Marko Jaric Soaks His Tired Weiner

Here’s why you might want to be a professional athlete instead of a nuclear scientist or a Dairy Queen Assistant Manager. I’ve been one of those. The tail is to die for. Marko Jaric and his six year NBA career was the definition of ho hum. He bounced between teams once they realized he was vastly overpaid for his performance, shipped out at age thirty to play a couple more years in the European leagues with the funky keys. While he was still a working NBA guy, he hitched up Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima into a couple of kids until she dumped him for banging every other woman they both knew. Jaric had to wait thirty-seven seconds to land on this new chick. I could look her up in the League of Adriatic Models but I’m going to bet she does unfiltered cigarette commercials in Belgrade. Or did. Now she’s got the big fish. He doesn’t even play anymore. He owns burger chains and vodka companies and about half the arable land in Montenegro. If I could do it all over again I’d be 6’7 and super coordinated.  For once I’d like a girl to love me out of completely crass self-interest. I’ve heard the sex is better, or at least, more frequent, which is the same thing.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet