Sienna Miller in A Bikini in Cannes

Sienna Miller was in a Clint Eastwood movie last year but that didn’t disqualify her from being named a panelist on the jury of the Cannes Film Festival. In that role, she will have to pretend to watch twenty-seven tiresome films, at least half of which will involve an Iranian girl losing her only pair of shoes to Western imperialism. Sean Penn will scream and Kate Winslet will cry but that girl will not get back her fucking shoes. Smartly, Sienna is hanging out at that famous Eden Roc hotel near Cannes trying to use the pool before Victoria Silvstedt arrives and fouls the water with old man creampie. Sienna’s family wisely moved her to England as a young child when they realized a New York seven was a London ten. She’s done well for herself. There, I said something nice. Pass the baguettes.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI