Muhammed Cartoon Contest Went Swimmingly

Here’s an idea. Host a Prophet Muhammed cartoon contest offensive enough to draw Muslim crazies out to a police fortified civic center in Texas. Some patriotic group named America American Freedom America Fuck Yeah America or something like that decided to rub shit in the face of ISIS nut jobs by inviting the general public to win ten grand for best insulting Muhammed with a cartoon drawing. A couple Twitter jihadi’s showed up to the Garland Civic Center in the Dallas suburbs and started randomly firing their rifles for Allah. They made it about three feet out of their car before they were taken out by armed guards sitting in wait like the Duck Commander.

I’m not sure what this exercise teaches us. One guy mentioned Freedom of Speech while managing to keep a mostly straight face. I remember slow Saturday nights in the South when we used to shoot the alley rats drawn by the stink of improperly closed trash cans we improperly closed. Not sure I would’ve gone for live fire on the lost souls who follow the prophet by way of social media, though I get the sheer thrill of live human targets. We should’ve captured them alive. Just think of all the information we could’ve got out of them about never getting laid and their overnight shifts at Burger King.