The Irrepressible Tara Reid Brings Down Corporate Exec

A few things not to touch in life. That homeless guy’s boil, that twitching squirrel in the street, Tara Reid’s tits when she slurs out an invitation. The Chief Technology Officer of California’s Blue Shield insurance company got shit canned for spending $100,000 on his corporate credit card winning the heart of Tara Reid in a fling earlier this year. The pink slip came when Aaron Kaufman submitted expenses for a company bowling trip the only evidence of which occurring were Instagram photos shared by Reid of her wasted trying to pantomime her last three abortions. Kaufman has now sued Blue Shield claiming he was terminated for some bullshit reason people sue over when they’re fired. Blue Shield said you used our credit card to nail that nasty Sharknado chick, shut the fuck up. In his defense, Kaufman noted that he had to use the company card because his wife who was divorcing him had frozen all their personal accounts. If you’re lucky enough to pull a jury consisting entirely of angry recently divorced guys, that excuse might just work. If you’re unlucky, you’re wife is called to testify and you’re given twenty to life.

If anything, this executive should’ve been burned for spending $100,000 to get Tara Reid on his dick when a couple false compliments in the local dive bar would’ve sufficed. The myth of the genius corporate executive is once again pierced. They’re stupid for skanky blonds like the rest of us.