Shelly Sterling Gets Her Shit Back

The timeless battle between unstoppable shrew and unmovable whore ended when a judge ruled that V. Stiviano had to return the condo and the Bentley and other expensive gifts totaling $2.8 million from Donald Sterling back to Shelly Sterling because Stiviano never Quickbooks invoiced him formally for handies. Shelly Sterling argued that Stiviano suckered her batshit crazy husband into giving her the booty that was rightfully community property between the couple. Donald Sterling supported the argument by drooling in court and asking why Don the Chink won’t let him in the back door at Staples any longer. It’s kind of a sad day for hustlers, also for dignity and the expression of any earnest human emotions.

In court, Stiviano claimed that Donald Sterling was both a ‘father figure and lover’ which caused the stenographer to hurl and the judge to bring down the gavel in favor of Sterling. He did rule Stiviano didn’t have to pay back $200,000 in credit card expenses on Sterling’s card because she had stroked his crinkled penis on more than one occasion and you couldn’t put a price tag on that horror. Though, if you did, it would be around $200,000.

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